Tell us about your career path.
I first discovered the joy of working hard with a team of committed people from playing sports. From there, working hard and playing hard became a way of life. After college, I worked at GE Capital in private debt, earned an MBA, had a great summer internship at the Czech Ministry of Privatization, and joined a start-up consulting firm as the 13th employee, which grew to 5000 employees and went public. It was fast-paced, high-pressure, long hours with weekly travel, and I loved it.
I met my husband, Paul, at work, and we had two daughters. I had never seen an example of a successful working mom arrangement in my field. We could not responsibly both keep our pace of work and raise a family, and we agreed to a traditional model of my being the caretaker and Paul the provider. For the next ten years, we experienced the joys and agonies of parenting, as well as the best year of our life living in London. We also experienced the vulnerability that comes from living off one income through two recessions. I experimented with part-time and contract work, but the cost of care and taxes always seemed to wipe away the benefits. There was also an emotional toll that I did not fully understand until years later. My identity was tied to striving for accomplishment.
I returned to work full-time at UCSF in 2009 when our girls were 8 and 10. What made this possible was a culture that allowed leaving work at 5 p.m. and a boss who agreed I could telework one day per week so I could pull off a carpool. I am grateful I rediscovered the joy of working hard with committed people in FAS. My journey taught me that my best days stem not from achievement but from the desire to be useful to the person in front of me.
What advice would you give your daughters if they start a family?
- Where you work matters - Find a culture and role that allows flexibility and respects boundaries.
- Sustain your skills - Even if you step out of work, find ways to use and build skills.
- Keep your fixed costs low - This allows flexibility to cut back or save more when needed.
- Build goodwill - Earn flexibility through demonstrated commitment.
- It takes a village - Build a network of friends, family and neighbors to exchange help.
- Embrace enough - Happy people have a healthy sense of good enough.
- Balance - Think of work-life balance as something you do over a lifetime, not all at once.
